Male’s Perspective on (M.A.D.)

From A Male’s Perspective
The thing about the spirit of rejection is that as time goes on and each time you are rejected or feel rejected it builds a case against you and the courts of life. These experiences of rejection are facts of life to show you that you are worthless. It’s very easy to fight lies, all you need is to open your eyes to the truth but facts are something different. The facts about rejection are that they all hurt and the effects can be more than you expect. Unknowingly, I took the feelings that are associated with rejection and I covered them up with things such as staying busy, drinking, sex, music, and work. It’s easier to mask the outer self but you can never escape the inner hurt. For me, it became harder to keep up with the outer image that I wanted people to see, even often times what I wanted to be. During the daytime I would stay busy being around different people, but at night it would just be my emotions and me. So I tried to wear myself out throughout the day so at night I would just crash! I filled my mind with everything else but it would never last. Even pornography with masturbation didn’t help or erase the pain I continually held in. See the thing about our emotions is that they are patient and forever waiting for us to deal with. They know that eventually the body will be worn out and come to end of itself, so they stay there waiting. I came to realize through the hurt of my rejection, that my cell doors were open but in reality I was still imprisoned with no escaping. I thought that I had my emotions tamed and in check, but in reality they were running wild hurting others with only me to blame. I grew up with a father who suffered from manic depression and taught me to suppress healthy emotions. In his mind he thought that he was making me better, but in reality he was making me just like him. My father developed a hatred towards God, because he lost his mother at an early age so he stayed mad. Not just mad as an emotion, but mad as an acronym: Man Against Destiny (A man who builds with one hand and tears down with the other.)
Growing up I was never shown how to express healthy emotions. Nor was I taught that it was okay for men to cry. Talking or sharing my emotions with ease became lost to me, so when people asked me “how I felt” it became easier and easier to lie. Because of my lies, this became a part of my character. I would either stay quiet, make people laugh, or show anger rather than letting someone in to reject me. So in many of my social relationships I suppressed my healthy emotions by attaching and loving quickly, rejecting others before they rejected me, and never letting too many people get close to me.

Over the years because of rejection and going in this destructive direction, my heart was eventually captured and surrendered totally to the Lord. Through worship and prayer God began to reveal the negative effects of rejection and the strategy of how it can go from generation to generation. He also revealed to me how to break the pattern of rejection and experience the true freedom that He has designed for all of us. You must know that there is life beyond the pain of rejection, and you don’t have to live a life M.A.D. Now how to uproot the spirit of rejection is by seeing the plans behind it. God never sees you how the spirit of rejection portrays you.

Written by: Minister Manu Brown

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